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GC Weekend

I had a lovely little weekend. I spent the majority of it watching General Conference. It was perfect. Cinnamon rolls, warm Fall weather, and even a session at the Conference Center made it the perfect weekend. I think the most exciting thing, however, is that President Monson announced that Provo will be getting a second temple! The Provo Tabernacle, which burned down last year, will be renovated and turned into a new temple. Here's what it is supposed to look like:

Isn't it beautiful?

Here are a few other images from the weekend. I wish General Conference was held four times a year instead of just twice.

Your Happily Ever After

I was browsing Deseret Book's website this afternoon, and was thrilled to pieces when I saw that President Uchtdorf has a new book. Titled "Your Happily Ever After," based on one of my favorite talks given by this amazing man, this book encourages members of the Church (especially girls and women) to remember who we are, that we are children of our Heavenly Father, meaning that we are literal royalty.

"My dear young sisters, you need to know that you will experience your own adversity. None is exempt. You will suffer, be tempted, and make mistakes. You will learn for yourself what every heroine has learned: through overcoming challenges come growth and strength.

It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself, that determines how your life’s story will develop.

There are those among you who, although young, have already suffered a full measure of grief and sorrow. My heart is filled with compassion and love for you. How dear you are to the Church. How beloved you are of your Heavenly Father. Though it may seem that you are alone, angels attend you. Though you may feel that no one can understand the depth of your despair, our Savior, Jesus Christ, understands. He suffered more than we can possibly imagine, and He did it for us; He did it for you. You are not alone."

Beautiful. Here's a picture of the book (isn't is gorgeous?):

Watch or read the whole thing here.

In Sickness and Health

I found this video today and I wanted to share it with you. In my Relief Society class we talked about marriage and eternal families, and I thought this video coincided nicely. I hope someday when I'm old and maybe a little senile I have someone with me who loves me enough to deal with it with optimism and faith.

Happy Sunday!

Come Listen to a Prophet's Voice

This past weekend was General Conference, and I loved every minute of it. I sat in my apartment for most of the weekend and just basked in the words our Church leaders spoke. Isn't it great that they always seem to mention things that you have been thinking about? I feel like that's always the case with me.

My friends and I loved that marriage was such a prevalent topic, especially when it came to telling young men who aren't trying to get working on it! My friends and I had been wondering these last couple of weeks why no one was asking us out on dates. We knew it couldn't be that something was wrong with us. We're fun, cute, smart girls. It was such a relief to find out that we're not the only girls who are waiting and waiting for a guy to take the initiative and do something. So here's hoping that we all see a change soon. I just love that prophets and apostles are so on top of things. They care about the young adults of the Church, too!

If you didn't get a chance to watch Conference, or if you're curious to know more, click here.

Killin' It with Kisses

Florence and the Machine had it right. I'm kicking those dog days out of here. I feel like life is giving me lemons to make lemonade, and I get really excited about it, but then those lemons turn out to be sour. Not so good for lemonade. So what's a girl to do?

I've been thinking about this on this 2AM Thursday morning. I'm exhausted, but can't seem to sleep. The earplugs and eye mask are not working at the moment, although they usually knock me right out. So that only means one thing: it's time to write! About what, who knows? My Women's Lit professor told us that sometimes, when we don't think we know what to write about, our best thoughts spill out anyway. So maybe I should try that and see what happens. If none of this makes sense, I'm sorry. 2AM Alexa is usually a little bit loopy.

Today started out as a great day. Cute outfit, good hair, warm weather, the whole shebang. However, it slowly but surely fell apart. That killer job I applied for? Oh yeah, they loved my resumé, thought I was perfectly qualified, and knew I would do a great job, but they filled the position yesterday, before they even got around to looking at my resumé. A couple of other things fell apart, too. It seems totally appropriate that, as I was driving home from campus and near tears, the clouds opened up and my newly-washed car was poured on.

I of course listened to my favorite talk by President Uchtdorf, "Continue in Patience." This talk has gotten me through so much, especially when I feel like I've been patient for long enough. My favorite quote from this talk is: "There is an important concept here: patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears. Patience means active waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can—working, hoping, and exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are delayed. Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well!"

So that's the solution. I've got to keep going. I'm going to let those dog days of feeling like nothing is going well for me die. Florence puts it so well: "Happiness hit her like a bullet in the back." I need to keep actively waiting for whatever it is that's coming for me, because I want to feel that bullet! (That sounds awful but let's think figuratively here).

So there's my word vomit for the night. Hopefully this means that I can sleep! Good night, my lovely readers. And to finish with a great picture for the day. It makes me want to garden:

Hardships

Have you ever felt like you've been hit with one trial after another, and you're left feeling like you just can't do it anymore? That's how I've felt these past couple of weeks. One challenge came, followed by another, followed by another. None of these challenges had anything to do with the other one, but they all seemed to want to come at the same time and knock me down. And I was left feeling very alone, like the sun wasn't ever going to shine on me again. But then, as He always does, Heavenly Father gave me some help. I came across a quote by President Hinckley, just when I needed it most, that says, "I too believe that God will always make a way where there is no way. I believe that if we will walk in obedience to the commandments of God, if we will follow the counsel of the priesthood, he will open a way even where there appears to be no way." And so far, He has. Even though I'm still dealing with many challenges, and I will be for a while, and the sun hasn't fully come out yet, He's giving me some rays, I think as a symbol that it's on its way. Slowly but surely, the clouds are clearing.

Yesterday I was able to attend the ward that I'll be in in the Fall, and I was surrounded by so many friendly people. It was a ray sent out by Heavenly Father. A wonderful friend of mine (you know who you are honay :), who recently went through a similar challenge, called me and gave me some uplifting advice. Another ray. Another great friend of mine did some wonders with my hair, boosting my confidence (I'm a girl. Good hair does that to you :). One more ray. I was able to find a place to live that I thought would be impossible to get into. Just one more ray. I've had family members, both immediate and extended, including very close family friends, who have reached out in amazing ways. The rays keep breaking through, and it's incredible. My testimony has increased so much. Putting your life in the Lord's hands is hard, and it's definitely taken a hit on my pride because I like to feel in control of myself, but it's what I'm trying to do.

In my Relief Society yesterday, we read this quote by Ezra Taft Benson. "When we put God first, all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of our lives. Our love for the Lord will govern the claims for our affection, the demands on our time, the interests we pursue, and the order of our priorities." I really believe that. Putting the Lord first is a challenge, but I think it's supposed to be. By doing so we increase our faith. And it really is happening. Things are starting to fall into place for me. The sun eventually comes out, and it's getting there for me. The challenges are still there, and will be for a while, but the Lord gives us help.

Healing Without Scars

Last night I went to Deseret Book and purchased a talk on CD, called "The Savior Heals Without a Scar," which was given by two of my favorite speakers, Sheri Dew and Wendy Watson Nelson. Originally I wasn't there to purchase that CD, but it caught my eye and I felt like it is what I needed to listen to at this point in my life. And it really was.

Sister Nelson told the story of how, on a visit to NYC, she slipped on the sidewalk and fell flat on her face, cutting it up enough to show the bone. She was able to stop the bleeding, fly back to Salt Lake, and see a plastic surgeon that day. The surgeon told her that, while the surgery would be painful and time-consuming, the way that he would fix it wouldn't leave a scar. She likened this to the idea that, when we go through an unexpected change or trial, the process of dealing with it will be painful and time-consuming, but with the help of the Atonement, a scar will not be left. We will be completely healed.

Sister Dew told the story of driving over a large piece of unseen metal one night in her car, which caused it to get stuck. She was in a scary area, and feared for her safety. A police officer showed up after she prayed, and they decided that, instead of putting her car in drive and try to drive over the metal, which had been impossible, to put it in reverse. When she did, she was able to pull the metal out of the way and drive forward. She said, "What may be stopping our forward momentum? It's usually something small. All I had to do was back up, and I didn't have to back up very far." Sometimes we need to back up and re-evaluate ourselves before we can move forward.

Sister Dew said, "Hope, peace and healing gifts come when we plead to the Father in the name of his son to be healed. There is no limit to his capacity, no limit on his gifts. The Lord can heal you and still heal me...Because of the atonement, the Savior can enable us to do things we could never do on our own. He sanctifies us and renews us. And he can heal a wounded, heavy, sad heart without a scar."

Mary Ellen Edmunds, another LDS speaker, said this, which I really liked. Speaking about Humpty Dumpty, she said, "This is a fairytale, but there is one who can put us back together. He knows where all the pieces are, and he knows where all the pieces go. He is our Savior, our redeemer and our healer. He is the only one who can gather all those pieces and put them where they belong."

Ugly Ducklings

I know I've become a bit obsessed with posting videos lately, but I saw this one today by President Uchtdorf that was put out by the Church for the youth. I think it's so neat that the Church is making videos for the youth, and even has a new website for them (youth.lds.org). I especially appreciate this video because, even though it's meant for teenagers, I, as a 21 year old, still get something out of it. Because sometimes, I do feel like the ugly duckling! Enjoy.

Be His Hands

One of my million goals this summer is to read a General Conference talk each day until I finish my May Ensign. I find that, even though I've already heard each talk, by reading them I get a chance to stop and think about what is said, and read the words at my own pace. Today I read President Uchtdorf's talk called "You Are My Hands." If you haven't read it or listened to it yet, please do. Click here for a link to it.

The talk is about using Christ as an example in giving service to and loving others. President Uchtdorf talks about how, "as we emulate His perfect example, our hands become His hands; our eyes, His eyes; our heart, His heart." What better way to look at others than through the eyes and heart of the Savior?

I will be the first to admit that I struggle sometimes with judging others. I'm not a mean person, but sometimes I make quick snap judgments about others, often even after I get to know them. However, after reading this talk, I'm going to learn how to stop doing that. "I hope that we welcome and love all of God’s children, including those who might dress, look, speak, or just do things differently. It is not good to make others feel as though they are deficient. Let us lift those around us. Let us extend a welcoming hand. Let us bestow upon our brothers and sisters in the Church a special measure of humanity, compassion, and charity so that they feel, at long last, they have finally found home." Everyone deserves to be and feel loved. As President Uchtdorf said, "Every person we meet is a VIP to our Heavenly Father." When we understand that, it will be easier to love them.

He shares a story of a woman who describes herself as a $20 bill. Even though throughout her life she has been worn out and beaten down, she is still always going to be worth $20. I love that!

My favorite quote from his whole talk comes at the end. He says, "As we extend our hands and hearts toward others in Christlike love, something wonderful happens to us. Our own spirits become healed, more refined, and stronger. We become happier, more peaceful, and more receptive to the whisperings of the Holy Spirit." Isn't that wonderful? It makes me think of Doctrine and Covenants 81:5, where we are taught to "succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees." In doing so, our own weaknesses will be succored, our hands will lift up, and our knees will be strengthened.

Be Still My Soul

My friend shared this song with me last night. I have heard it and sung it a million times, but the words really struck me, especially now.

1. Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side;
With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In ev'ry change he faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heav'nly Friend
Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

2. Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as he has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: The waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.

3. Be still, my soul: The hour is hast'ning on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: When change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

Making changes is a wonderful thing. These last few days I've been working really hard, doing things I feel like I need to do. I don't think I've ever relied on Heavenly Father more than I am right now. But with these changes, I have new perspectives on life in various areas. Some of these perspectives are even life-changing. Each day has its hard moments, but by working through them with faith and patience, they get easier.

Christlike Attributes

I love Sundays. Yesterday was a good one. I learned a lot in my lessons, I talked with some great people, and I had lots of time by myself to grow. Right now I feel like I am being stretched by Heavenly Father to the point that I can't take it anymore, but somehow He makes it so that I can. The highlight of yesterday was the nearly 3 hours I spent studying chapter 6 of Preach My Gospel, which is all about developing Christlike attributes. I love this chapter because you don't have to be a missionary to read it and understand. Anyone can develop these attributes. I read over each one, read the wonderful scripture references included, and decided to make goals for myself on how I can improve. Each day this week I am going to work on developing a couple attributes. So today I am going to work on the first two, Faith in Jesus Christ and Hope.

I've learned that faith takes work. This past weekend I felt like I received some powerful revelation, and while I felt very good and happy when I received it, yesterday I started to doubt. That isn't faith. Faith is having confidence in the Lord, in trusting and believing the revelation we receive, and never doubting. In his talk, "Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence," Jeffrey R. Holland says that Heavenly Father will not give us revelation and then take it away. If it was right when we received it, it is still right now. "If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now. Don’t give up when the pressure mounts. Certainly don’t give in to that being who is bent on the destruction of your happiness. Face your doubts. Master your fears. 'Cast not away therefore your confidence.' Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you." Just like fear, doubt is the opposite of faith. Preach My Gospel says that faith leads to action. This means that if there is something I have faith that I can achieve, I am going to work hard for it, which I am doing right now. The Bible Dictionary says, "Where there is faith, there are miracles." I believe that.

Hope goes with faith, and it is one of my favorite attributes. The book says that "Hope helps you conquer discouragement," which is something I deal with from time to time right now. Hope is trusting in God's promises. I had an experience this last week where in a blessing I received I was given a promise that I was also given in my Patriarchal blessing, practically word for word. Heavenly Father and I have discussed in numerous prayers what this promise is, and I know that He is keeping his word about me receiving it as long as I do my part, which is trusting Him and making changes. Romans 8:24-25 says that hope can only happen when the outcome is NOT seen, and that patience is required for the outcome to take place. If we already know the outcome of something, what is there to hope and trust in the Lord for?

Studying this chapter is really giving me a greater desire to become like the Savior. Yesterday I made a list of goals that I am working towards that will help me become more like Him. And with faith and hope, I know they can be achieved.

Blessings

Today I want to write about the amazing power of blessings. I admit that sometimes I'm scared to or I forget to ask for them when I need it. Last night I was eating frozen yogurt with my good friend Natalie, and she asked me if her husband Trent could give me one. I said yes instantly. And the blessing he gave me was wonderful. He told me that Heavenly Father is acutely aware of me, and my desires, needs, and inner struggles. This was what I needed to hear. Since that blessing I've of course had a few hard minutes, but then I remember the blessing and it helps. I love knowing that, no matter who gives it, it is Heavenly Father speaking directly to us.

I'm also learning to move forward, as hard as it may be. I'm learning to really trust in Heavenly Father, and that He knows where I'm supposed to be. I told Natalie last night that right now it's hard for me to plan my future, but I'm going to go forward one day at a time, and I will tell Heavenly Father to put me where He wants me to be. Where that is I don't know. I have my own personal hopes as to where it will be, but whether those hopes align with Heavenly Father's plan, I'm not sure. I just have to be patient and find out.

This morning I listened to a Conference talk by President Monson titled, "Looking Back and Moving Forward." In it he said:

"Mortality is a period of testing, a time to prove ourselves worthy to return to the presence of our Heavenly Father. In order to be tested, we must sometimes face challenges and difficulties. At times there appears to be no light at the tunnel’s end—no dawn to break the night’s darkness. We feel surrounded by the pain of broken hearts, the disappointment of shattered dreams, and the despair of vanished hopes. We join in uttering the biblical plea 'Is there no balm in Gilead?' We are inclined to view our own personal misfortunes through the distorted prism of pessimism. We feel abandoned, heartbroken, alone. If you find yourself in such a situation, I plead with you to turn to our Heavenly Father in faith. He will lift you and guide you. He will not always take your afflictions from you, but He will comfort and lead you with love through whatever storm you face."

I firmly believe that, even if it is sometimes hard. But again blessings are a wonderful thing if you feel doubt, alone, or heartbroken. Healing takes time, but knowing Heavenly Father is still there can help put the puzzle pieces back together.

"Kindness is the essence of greatness and the fundamental characteristic of the noblest men and women I have known. Kindness is a passport that opens doors and fashions friends. It softens hearts and molds relationships that can last lifetimes...Kindness is the essence of a celestial life. Kindness is how a Christlike person treats others. Kindness should permeate all of our words and actions at work, at school, at church, and especially in our homes." --Joseph B. Wirthlin,, "The Virtue of Kindness", Ensign, May 2005, 26

Just some words of inspiration today. :)

Relief Society

Yesterday I went to Relief Society in my home ward by myself because my mom is in California for a few days. I don't know a lot of the women in that ward very well, so I was kind of being a wall flower and sat by myself. Right before the lesson started, the teacher asked me if I would share something I really like about Relief Society during the lesson. Of course I said yes, and while she was teaching I tried to think about something I enjoyed.

When my turn came to share, I told of my experiences going to church in London. Here I was, a half a world away from people I knew, and yet I wasn't nervous or scared. I went to Relief Society there, and although the women in the Peckham Ward were of different nationalities, races, and cultures, and lived completely different lifestyles than I do, we shared one common bond, and that's the gospel. I absolutely love that. No matter where you are in the world, there is a ward or stake or branch somewhere, and you can go and feel the same feelings that you have at your home ward. Everyone is warm and friendly, and make you feel completely welcome. I love that about our church.

I also really like this video.

Masterpiece.

Yesterday I was driving to Provo, and since it was Sunday, I was listening to some Church music. I was listening Julie de Azevedo, and her song "Masterpiece" came on. I've heard it before, but yesterday the lyrics really struck me, so I thought I would share them.

"Masterpiece"

Simple clay in a potter's hand,

an empty page and an author's pen,

an artist's brush to a canvas white,

and a work of art comes to life.

Marble raw, but the sculptor sees

the masterpiece that lies beneath,

though rough and marred the master's touch

can change this life into his work of love.

So every day I pray

He'll write his will upon my heart,

mold my soul to his design,

adding color, depth, and light,

polishing until I shine, shine, shine.

All my heart is in his hands,

he's painting the life he'd have me lead,

through refining floods and flames,

smoothing edges and the seams.

And in time, time, time,

oh this simple life will be,

a masterpiece.

Snowy peaks, water colored skies,

His works of beauty fill my eyes,

but he sees nothing more beautiful

than a heart submissive to his will.

I want to know his will,

So every day I pray

He'll write his will upon my heart,

mold my soul to his design,

adding color, depth, and light,

polishing until I shine, shine, shine.

All my heart is in his hands,

he's painting the life he'd have me lead,

through refining floods and flames,

smoothing edges and the seams.

And in time, time, time,

oh this simple life will be,

a masterpiece.

My Master's masterpiece.

Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence

I was reading this great devotional today that Jeffrey R. Holland gave at BYU in 1999, called "Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence," and I found this wonderful quote.

"If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now. Don't give up when the pressure mounts. It's been done before. Don't give in. Certainly don't give in to that being who is bent on the destruction of your happiness. He wants everyone to be miserable like unto himself. Face your doubts. Master your fears. 'Cast not away therefore your confidence.' Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you."

I loved this quote, because recently I've noticed that I question answers I have been given. This just helped me a lot, and I'm learning that Heavenly Father doesn't give us an answer only to turn around and give us another one. So if you get a chance, read this. It's really inspiring.

General Conference Weekend!

This past weekend was General Conference, and I loved it. It's nice to have two days put aside to just listen and learn. I tried to get all my homework done and get enough sleep before, which was great. I sat in front of the TV and just let the words that were spoken flood over me! I love each of the General Authorities and the First Presidency. They are all such smart, focused, and well-educated men, and I feel like they're speaking directly to me. I feel like sometimes people think that because most of them are older, they are out of touch with what's going on in the world. I find this to be completely the opposite. In fact, I feel like they know more about what's going on than most of us do, which gives us an extra incentive to listen.

On Sunday morning I actually got to go to a session, which I've never done before. And what was more amazing was that out of the thousands of seats in the Conference Center, some good family friends from California were sitting right next to me! It wasn't planned at all, but I was so grateful because I haven't seen them in years.

So in all it was such a good, relaxing weekend, which I needed since finals start in a few days. And two weeks from now I'll be on a plane to London! Life is going by so fast. I'm starting to feel like if I don't keep up, it's going to leave me behind!