Grateful

This week I have quite a bit to be grateful for. Here are just a few of those things, and I'm constantly amazed at them:

1. I got a job as an in-house editor for a publishing company in Lindon. With a full-time position offered once I graduate.
2. I found out today I received an internship at LDS Living magazine for next winter semester!
3. The magazine I'm currently working for, Stowaway, featured an essay I wrote as the staff essay to be published in the Spring 2012 issue. BYU even did a news story about the magazine, and you can see my little face a couple of times, right here.
4. My hope has been restored in the male population. Real men do exist, girls. I found one. :)
5. I get to spend a few days at Lake Tahoe with my family next week for Thanksgiving. And I couldn't be happier about that.

After a year or so of getting a few bumps and bruises, the end of 2011 is shaping up to be a good one. As I was talking to my mom on the phone today, I joked with her that I'm kind of waiting for something bad to happen because I've felt so spoiled with all these blessings! She of course told me to stop thinking that way. It reminded me of one of my favorite quotes:

Via Pinterest

Blessings come, guys. I've been so overwhelmed with the amazing things that have happened to me in the past few weeks, but it's strengthened my testimony that Heavenly Father really does love us and that, after the storm, the clouds clear up and things get better. Sometimes it's hard to trust in the Lord (believe me, I know), but He always comes through. Don't ever doubt that.

Your Happily Ever After

I was browsing Deseret Book's website this afternoon, and was thrilled to pieces when I saw that President Uchtdorf has a new book. Titled "Your Happily Ever After," based on one of my favorite talks given by this amazing man, this book encourages members of the Church (especially girls and women) to remember who we are, that we are children of our Heavenly Father, meaning that we are literal royalty.

"My dear young sisters, you need to know that you will experience your own adversity. None is exempt. You will suffer, be tempted, and make mistakes. You will learn for yourself what every heroine has learned: through overcoming challenges come growth and strength.

It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself, that determines how your life’s story will develop.

There are those among you who, although young, have already suffered a full measure of grief and sorrow. My heart is filled with compassion and love for you. How dear you are to the Church. How beloved you are of your Heavenly Father. Though it may seem that you are alone, angels attend you. Though you may feel that no one can understand the depth of your despair, our Savior, Jesus Christ, understands. He suffered more than we can possibly imagine, and He did it for us; He did it for you. You are not alone."

Beautiful. Here's a picture of the book (isn't is gorgeous?):

Watch or read the whole thing here.

The Happiness Project

Have you heard of The Happiness Project? No? Let me tell you about it. I came across this website and best-seller book a few weeks ago, and since then I might have become slightly obsessed. Gretchen Rubin spent a year of her life testing out theories and studies about what makes society happy. Her book and website record her findings. She lists her 12 commandments for herself and four splendid truths that remind her what life is about, and each of them are things I'm trying to implement in my life. If you have some time tonight, check the website out, and be happy!

In Sickness and Health

I found this video today and I wanted to share it with you. In my Relief Society class we talked about marriage and eternal families, and I thought this video coincided nicely. I hope someday when I'm old and maybe a little senile I have someone with me who loves me enough to deal with it with optimism and faith.

Happy Sunday!

Blackbird

via

"I climbed the stairs to my apartment, lay down in my new bed and turned off the light. I waited to start crying or worrying, since that's what usually happened to me with the lights off, but I actually felt OK. I felt fine. I felt the early symptoms of contentment. My weary body asked my weary mind, 'Was this all you needed, then?' There was no response. I was already fast asleep." Liz Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

Hi friends. This is how I'm feeling today. I did something kind of brave and kind of scary and kind of necessary, and after I did it, I felt this wave of relief wash over me. And stress vanished. It was something I knew I had been needing to do for a little while, but I was scared. So I told myself, nope, this is it. I'm doing it. And I did.

So starting today, I'm at a point where I can say, "What do you want, Alexa?" Spring term ends this week, and I decided not to take summer classes. This little weary body needs a break. So what do I want to do? I want to learn Spanish. I want to run a half marathon. I want to take a road trip to somewhere I've never been. I want a job. I want to buy myself fresh flowers every week. And nothing is there to hold me back from doing those things. I've let go of what's been weighing me down, and it feels so liberating!

Two more things before I go. My great friend Megan shared this scripture with me after a long discussion about why things happen the way they do:

"Behold, I say unto you that whoso believeth in Christ, doubting nothing, whatsoever he shall ask the Father in the name of Christ it shall be granted him; and this promise is unto all, even unto the ends of the earth." Mormon 9:21

And last, the title of this post refers to this song. It's one of my favorites by the Beatles, and it describes a little bit how I'm feeling. Good night!

Sheeee's Baaaaack! This could be good or bad.

All right people, maybe you didn't notice (and you probably didn't), but I've taken a bit of a blogging hiatus. And I know that's pathetic of me, but it's true. May was a bit of an up and down month. Great things followed by not so great things followed by happy things followed by disappointing things. And I'll admit there were a few times that I looked up at the sky and quoted my favorite little man, "The clouds opened up and God said, 'I hate you, Alfalfa!'"

But I woke up a few days ago and decided to pick up whatever pieces had fallen out of my life's little puzzle and put them back. (This would be a fantastic time for some "Yay Alexa!" applause. But don't feel obligated. But really, you should.)

Anyway, here are some of my favorite quotes I've found that got me through these couple of off weeks. Find them here.

My favorite. And so true.

My sister Whitney would love this.

This one is too small to read, but it says, "You're going to come across people in your life who will say all the right words at all the right times. But in the end, it's their actions you should judge them by. It's actions, not words, that matter." And I don't know why these are all underlined but it's kind of annoying me.

This is the hardest one for me to learn. We all know Alexa is not patient.

FAVORITE

This is why I try to laugh as much as possible.

Yep!

Taylor Swift. Genius.

So anyway, I'm hoping maybe one of these helped you too. Life is good. It just has its ups and downs every little while.

My Motto

I love this.

via here

Come Listen to a Prophet's Voice

This past weekend was General Conference, and I loved every minute of it. I sat in my apartment for most of the weekend and just basked in the words our Church leaders spoke. Isn't it great that they always seem to mention things that you have been thinking about? I feel like that's always the case with me.

My friends and I loved that marriage was such a prevalent topic, especially when it came to telling young men who aren't trying to get working on it! My friends and I had been wondering these last couple of weeks why no one was asking us out on dates. We knew it couldn't be that something was wrong with us. We're fun, cute, smart girls. It was such a relief to find out that we're not the only girls who are waiting and waiting for a guy to take the initiative and do something. So here's hoping that we all see a change soon. I just love that prophets and apostles are so on top of things. They care about the young adults of the Church, too!

If you didn't get a chance to watch Conference, or if you're curious to know more, click here.

Killin' It with Kisses

Florence and the Machine had it right. I'm kicking those dog days out of here. I feel like life is giving me lemons to make lemonade, and I get really excited about it, but then those lemons turn out to be sour. Not so good for lemonade. So what's a girl to do?

I've been thinking about this on this 2AM Thursday morning. I'm exhausted, but can't seem to sleep. The earplugs and eye mask are not working at the moment, although they usually knock me right out. So that only means one thing: it's time to write! About what, who knows? My Women's Lit professor told us that sometimes, when we don't think we know what to write about, our best thoughts spill out anyway. So maybe I should try that and see what happens. If none of this makes sense, I'm sorry. 2AM Alexa is usually a little bit loopy.

Today started out as a great day. Cute outfit, good hair, warm weather, the whole shebang. However, it slowly but surely fell apart. That killer job I applied for? Oh yeah, they loved my resumé, thought I was perfectly qualified, and knew I would do a great job, but they filled the position yesterday, before they even got around to looking at my resumé. A couple of other things fell apart, too. It seems totally appropriate that, as I was driving home from campus and near tears, the clouds opened up and my newly-washed car was poured on.

I of course listened to my favorite talk by President Uchtdorf, "Continue in Patience." This talk has gotten me through so much, especially when I feel like I've been patient for long enough. My favorite quote from this talk is: "There is an important concept here: patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears. Patience means active waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can—working, hoping, and exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are delayed. Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well!"

So that's the solution. I've got to keep going. I'm going to let those dog days of feeling like nothing is going well for me die. Florence puts it so well: "Happiness hit her like a bullet in the back." I need to keep actively waiting for whatever it is that's coming for me, because I want to feel that bullet! (That sounds awful but let's think figuratively here).

So there's my word vomit for the night. Hopefully this means that I can sleep! Good night, my lovely readers. And to finish with a great picture for the day. It makes me want to garden:

I'm Shining Like Fireworks

It's sad when you find out that guys like this really exist, huh?

"Maybe it's me and my blind optimism to blame. Or maybe it's you and your sick need to give love and take it away. You'll add my name to your long list of traitors who don't understand. And I'll look back and regret I ignored when they said 'Run as fast as you can.'"

"You are an expert at sorry, and keeping lines blurry, and never impressed by me acing your tests. All the girls that you've run dry, with tired lifeless eyes 'cause you burned them out..."

"But I took your matches before fire could catch me, so don't look now. I'm shining like fireworks over your sad, empty town."

Reflection

With Christmas and New Year's coming and being home over the break, I don't know how much blogging I'm going to be doing in the next couple weeks. So until 2011 gets here and I get back to Provo and back into the swing of a new semester, I'm going to reflect now on some things I learned during2010. If I had to find one word that defined 2010 for me, I think it would be "Growth." I've definitely done a lot of that this year, in lots of ways. So without further ado, here's a list to round out my 2010. Merry Christmas, and I hope you all have a happy holiday season! See you in 2011.

1. Maria von Trapp said it once, and I'll say it again. "When God closes a door, He opens a window." And sometimes, He even breaks a whole wall down just in case you're being stubborn and aren't able to feel the breeze coming in from said window.

2. It's okay to be silly. Did I play innertube waterpolo this year? Yes. Did we look like idiots? Yes. Was it so fun anyway? YES. Ward Halloween party. Did I fall at Classic Skating? Yes. Did we take silly pictures? Yes. I've done silly things this year, but I've learned it's fun to let go and act like a little kid sometimes, no matter how old you are.

3. Write things down. I've been an avid journal since I was 8, because writing is therapeutic for me. But I learned this year that writing is a great way for me to vent about how I'm feeling instead of getting angry over little things that in the long run won't even matter.

4. Taylor Swift has a song to go with every minute of my life. And after listening, I always feel better.

5. Family will always be there for you. During a rough summer and challenging semester, my family was always there whenever I needed them. I love that, even though we're all getting older, we can still be silly together. Hence the picture below.

6. Make everyone's day better. I saw so many people do this for me this year, and maybe they didn't even know it. My goal is to make sure that, after someone talks to me, they feel better about themselves. I want to be a light in people's lives.

7. Take time to take a break. One of my favorite parts about this year was going to visit my favorite family in Texas. I took two days off from school, and I played with 4 little kids. And it was just what I needed.

8. Make friends with everyone. This year I've been blessed to live in a wonderful ward, and I've made lots of friends. I've also rekindled friendships with old friends, too. Having a variety of people to go to makes life so much better!

9. Appreciate the things you have in your life, because before you know it they can disappear.

10. Don't change who you are for anyone or anything. I've learned this semester that if someone doesn't appreciate you for what you are or what you bring to the table, it's possible to surround yourself with people who do.

11. Most importantly, remember that things will always work out for you. One of my favorite talks this year was the one by President Uchtdorf, called, "Continue in Patience." It constantly reminds me that, as long as I'm doing the things I should be doing and waiting patiently with faith, Heavenly Father will take care of me.

Maggie

My dog Maggie passed away this week. She's been in my family for more than half my life, and finding out that she died was like finding out I'd lost a sibling, because in essence, that's what she was. She was the 5th Justesen child. Maggie had been sick for a while, and the vet said it would be easier to put her to sleep rather than wait for her to die because that way she wouldn't have to suffer as much. When my dad called last night to let me know, I cried and cried. And I haven't cried in a while, so I had a lot to let out. But because she's been a part of my family for 13 years, I decided I needed to give her a little photo tribute. Maggie was the best dog in the world. She fit into our family perfectly, and most of my memories of growing up involve her in some way, whether it was being angry at her for chewing up my socks or taking a nap next to her on the floor. Maggie had a knack for knowing when someone in the family was sad and just needed a buddy. I have many memories of her just coming and putting her head on my lap. Every good thing you hear about dogs, Maggie was it. Rest in peace, Maggie. I love you.

"A dog has no use for fancy cars or big homes or designer clothes. Status symbol means nothing to him. A waterlogged stick will do just fine. A dog judges others not by their color or creed or class but by who they are inside. A dog doesn't care if you are rich or poor, educated or illiterate, clever or dull. Give him your heart and he will give you his." John Grogan

"Such short little lives our pets have to spend with us, and they spend most of it waiting for us to come home each day. It is amazing how much love and laughter they bring into our lives and even how much closer we become with each other because of them." John Grogan

The poor dog, in life the firmest friend,
"The first to welcome, foremost to defend." Lord Byron

"His ears were often the first thing to catch my tears." Elizabeth Barrett Browning, referring to her cocker spaniel, Flush

"A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself." Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)

"A person can learn a lot from a dog, even a loopy one like ours. Marley taught me about living each day with unbridled exuberance and joy, about seizing the moment and following your heart. He taught me to appreciate the simple things-a walk in the woods, a fresh snowfall, a nap in a shaft of winter sunlight. And as he grew old and achy, he taught me about optimism in the face of adversity. Mostly, he taught me about friendship and selflessness and, above all else, unwavering loyalty." John Grogan

Weeks Fly By...

School is taking over my life right now. I've spent this weekend writing a paper about the relationship between the theory of hyperreality and mimetic criticism when taken with a pluralistic viewpoint. Sound boring to you? Maybe. But I love it! My classes are tough, but I really enjoy them. I'm going to miss this BYU experience when it ends. But...I have some fun-filled weekends to look forward to!

This weekend: General Conference. I'm making cinnamon rolls for the Sunday morning session. Come if you want to. Conference weekend is always my favorite. I love sitting in my PJs with family or friends and listening. I love the feeling of being motivated to do better.

Next weekend: My dad comes to town! Hopefully to help tell me what's broken on my car. Because sometimes it seems like a new thing each week. And also BYU football! Hopefully we don't get thrashed again.

And then...drumroll please...the weekend after that I'm going here!

I can't tell you how excited I am! 3 and a half days out of Provo and out of Utah will be fantastic. And I get to play with my four favorite kiddies in the whole world. Our family friends the Trythalls are letting me come invade on their family time, and I'm so excited! So right now that's kind of the next biggest thing I'm looking forward to. I'm sure when I get back there will be a long post with lots of pictures.

Until then here's a quote that I came across that I love. "I testify to you that our promised blessings are beyond measure. Though the storm clouds may gather, though the rains may pour down upon us, our knowledge of the gospel and our love of our Heavenly Father and of our Savior will comfort and sustain us and bring joy to our hearts as we walk uprightly and keep the commandments. There will be nothing in this world that can defeat us." Thomas S. Monson

Music

I really identify with music. What I listen to usually reflects how I'm feeling at the moment. And because I've been feeling kind of down lately, I put together a playlist of songs that help me know it's going to be okay. So I thought I would share them with you if you're having a bad day, week, or month, too.

1. Dream by Michael Buble

2. Keep Breathing by Ingrid Michealson

3. Stand by Rascal Flatts

4. Everything'll Be Alright by Joshua Radin

5. Breathe by Taylor Swift

6. Someday We'll Know by Mandy Moore/Switchfoot

7. Lullabye (Rockabye) by Shawn Mullins

8. You've Got a Friend by James Taylor

9. Hand in My Pocket by Alanis Morisette

10. You Learn by Alanis Morisette

11. No One by Aly & A.J.

12. Let It Be by The Beatles

13. Here Comes the Sun by The Beatles

14. Three Little Birds by Bob Marley

15. Letter to Me by Brad Paisley

16. Ever Ever After by Carrie Underwood

17. Don't Stop by Fleetwood Mac

18. Defying Gravity from Wicked

19. Free Falling by John Mayer

20. Don't Stop Believing by Journey

21. Don't You Know You're Beautiful by Kellie Pickler

22. Looking Forward to Looking Back by Mandy Moore

23. Somewhere Over the Rainbow

These sure make me feel better.

Optimism...Pass It On

Tonight in one of my Education Week classes, taught by Barbara Barrington Jones about how to make positive changes, we watched this video, which was way too cute to pass up on sharing!

Hardships

Have you ever felt like you've been hit with one trial after another, and you're left feeling like you just can't do it anymore? That's how I've felt these past couple of weeks. One challenge came, followed by another, followed by another. None of these challenges had anything to do with the other one, but they all seemed to want to come at the same time and knock me down. And I was left feeling very alone, like the sun wasn't ever going to shine on me again. But then, as He always does, Heavenly Father gave me some help. I came across a quote by President Hinckley, just when I needed it most, that says, "I too believe that God will always make a way where there is no way. I believe that if we will walk in obedience to the commandments of God, if we will follow the counsel of the priesthood, he will open a way even where there appears to be no way." And so far, He has. Even though I'm still dealing with many challenges, and I will be for a while, and the sun hasn't fully come out yet, He's giving me some rays, I think as a symbol that it's on its way. Slowly but surely, the clouds are clearing.

Yesterday I was able to attend the ward that I'll be in in the Fall, and I was surrounded by so many friendly people. It was a ray sent out by Heavenly Father. A wonderful friend of mine (you know who you are honay :), who recently went through a similar challenge, called me and gave me some uplifting advice. Another ray. Another great friend of mine did some wonders with my hair, boosting my confidence (I'm a girl. Good hair does that to you :). One more ray. I was able to find a place to live that I thought would be impossible to get into. Just one more ray. I've had family members, both immediate and extended, including very close family friends, who have reached out in amazing ways. The rays keep breaking through, and it's incredible. My testimony has increased so much. Putting your life in the Lord's hands is hard, and it's definitely taken a hit on my pride because I like to feel in control of myself, but it's what I'm trying to do.

In my Relief Society yesterday, we read this quote by Ezra Taft Benson. "When we put God first, all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of our lives. Our love for the Lord will govern the claims for our affection, the demands on our time, the interests we pursue, and the order of our priorities." I really believe that. Putting the Lord first is a challenge, but I think it's supposed to be. By doing so we increase our faith. And it really is happening. Things are starting to fall into place for me. The sun eventually comes out, and it's getting there for me. The challenges are still there, and will be for a while, but the Lord gives us help.

Healing Without Scars

Last night I went to Deseret Book and purchased a talk on CD, called "The Savior Heals Without a Scar," which was given by two of my favorite speakers, Sheri Dew and Wendy Watson Nelson. Originally I wasn't there to purchase that CD, but it caught my eye and I felt like it is what I needed to listen to at this point in my life. And it really was.

Sister Nelson told the story of how, on a visit to NYC, she slipped on the sidewalk and fell flat on her face, cutting it up enough to show the bone. She was able to stop the bleeding, fly back to Salt Lake, and see a plastic surgeon that day. The surgeon told her that, while the surgery would be painful and time-consuming, the way that he would fix it wouldn't leave a scar. She likened this to the idea that, when we go through an unexpected change or trial, the process of dealing with it will be painful and time-consuming, but with the help of the Atonement, a scar will not be left. We will be completely healed.

Sister Dew told the story of driving over a large piece of unseen metal one night in her car, which caused it to get stuck. She was in a scary area, and feared for her safety. A police officer showed up after she prayed, and they decided that, instead of putting her car in drive and try to drive over the metal, which had been impossible, to put it in reverse. When she did, she was able to pull the metal out of the way and drive forward. She said, "What may be stopping our forward momentum? It's usually something small. All I had to do was back up, and I didn't have to back up very far." Sometimes we need to back up and re-evaluate ourselves before we can move forward.

Sister Dew said, "Hope, peace and healing gifts come when we plead to the Father in the name of his son to be healed. There is no limit to his capacity, no limit on his gifts. The Lord can heal you and still heal me...Because of the atonement, the Savior can enable us to do things we could never do on our own. He sanctifies us and renews us. And he can heal a wounded, heavy, sad heart without a scar."

Mary Ellen Edmunds, another LDS speaker, said this, which I really liked. Speaking about Humpty Dumpty, she said, "This is a fairytale, but there is one who can put us back together. He knows where all the pieces are, and he knows where all the pieces go. He is our Savior, our redeemer and our healer. He is the only one who can gather all those pieces and put them where they belong."

Ugly Ducklings

I know I've become a bit obsessed with posting videos lately, but I saw this one today by President Uchtdorf that was put out by the Church for the youth. I think it's so neat that the Church is making videos for the youth (I for sure could have used videos like this one as a gawky 13-year old), and even has a new website for them (youth.lds.org). I especially appreciate this video because, even though it's meant for teenagers, I, as a 21-year old, still get something out of it. Because sometimes, I do feel like the ugly duckling! And it's okay. Like President Uchtdorf says, "Think of where you come from. You are sons and daughters of the greatest, most glorious being in the universe. He loves you with an infinite love. He wants the best for you. This knowledge changes everything." Enjoy.

Ugly Ducklings

I know I've become a bit obsessed with posting videos lately, but I saw this one today by President Uchtdorf that was put out by the Church for the youth. I think it's so neat that the Church is making videos for the youth, and even has a new website for them (youth.lds.org). I especially appreciate this video because, even though it's meant for teenagers, I, as a 21 year old, still get something out of it. Because sometimes, I do feel like the ugly duckling! Enjoy.

Be His Hands

One of my million goals this summer is to read a General Conference talk each day until I finish my May Ensign. I find that, even though I've already heard each talk, by reading them I get a chance to stop and think about what is said, and read the words at my own pace. Today I read President Uchtdorf's talk called "You Are My Hands." If you haven't read it or listened to it yet, please do. Click here for a link to it.

The talk is about using Christ as an example in giving service to and loving others. President Uchtdorf talks about how, "as we emulate His perfect example, our hands become His hands; our eyes, His eyes; our heart, His heart." What better way to look at others than through the eyes and heart of the Savior?

I will be the first to admit that I struggle sometimes with judging others. I'm not a mean person, but sometimes I make quick snap judgments about others, often even after I get to know them. However, after reading this talk, I'm going to learn how to stop doing that. "I hope that we welcome and love all of God’s children, including those who might dress, look, speak, or just do things differently. It is not good to make others feel as though they are deficient. Let us lift those around us. Let us extend a welcoming hand. Let us bestow upon our brothers and sisters in the Church a special measure of humanity, compassion, and charity so that they feel, at long last, they have finally found home." Everyone deserves to be and feel loved. As President Uchtdorf said, "Every person we meet is a VIP to our Heavenly Father." When we understand that, it will be easier to love them.

He shares a story of a woman who describes herself as a $20 bill. Even though throughout her life she has been worn out and beaten down, she is still always going to be worth $20. I love that!

My favorite quote from his whole talk comes at the end. He says, "As we extend our hands and hearts toward others in Christlike love, something wonderful happens to us. Our own spirits become healed, more refined, and stronger. We become happier, more peaceful, and more receptive to the whisperings of the Holy Spirit." Isn't that wonderful? It makes me think of Doctrine and Covenants 81:5, where we are taught to "succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees." In doing so, our own weaknesses will be succored, our hands will lift up, and our knees will be strengthened.