Positivity

I changed the name of my blog, mainly because being positive is something I need to work on right now. Life is somewhat difficult, but being able to look to the future with a positive heart and mindset is a goal of mine.

Right now I'm working on making some changes in my life. One of them is letting people in. I have always had a hard time trusting people, especially when it comes to sharing with them my feelings. I've had something happen that has turned my world upside-down, and it's been really difficult for me. So even though I'm still dealing with the pain that comes from the aftermath, I'm doing something that before was very hard for me. I'm letting people in. My mom told me I need to stop relying only on myself to get through this, but I need to let other people love me, too. So today at work I told my boss, and she cried with me. My wonderful brother sent me flowers. A friend of mine invited me to yoga tonight, and told me I could just come be with her so I don't have to feel alone. I ran into my good friend on campus, and he sent me a text message later that said, "Hey! Remember there sure are a lot of people that love you!" It made my day because this morning I really was feeling alone.

Right now I'm digging deep inside of myself to find out who Alexa really is. It takes a lot of strength, tears, and courage, but with positive thinking I am able to do it. I'm reading a book right now called Mind OS, and it teaches that nothing comes from passive or destructive thoughts. So whenever a negative thought comes my way, I push it out with a positive one. I've learned to forgive myself for things I've done, and it has helped a lot. Finally, after a few days of a broken heart (although that one will take a bit longer to mend than just a few days), lots of tears and pleadings to Heavenly Father, I'm slowly but surely moving on. And thank you to everyone who has played a part in helping me do that. The phase I'm in right now makes me think of the song "Moving On" By Rascal Flatts. Now, that song is about someone who regrets their past, which I don't. But I like this phrase:

I'm movin' on
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me.

I'm moving forward, slowly, with one foot in front of the other, and as I make my personal changes I know I will be led to where I'm supposed to be. I'm trusting.