Just a Mother

The other day I was having a discussion with a friend about what success is. To my friend, success is achieving awards, having a well-paying career, and having her name put on something. I can completely understand that. Receiving credit for hard work is definitely wonderful. However, I've always had a different idea of success, at least for me personally, that I feel to some degree is looked down on and not as respected as I think it should be.

I have always wanted to be a mom. That has been a dream of mine ever since I was little and collected baby dolls. I've also always wanted to stay at home with my kids. My mom hasn't worked a day in her life since my oldest brother was born (and when I say "worked" I mean she hasn't been paid for it, because she definitely works!), and that was a huge blessing to my family. Having my mom there all the time is something that really helped me growing up. Granted, my dad is blessed to have the kind of job he has so that my mom doesn't have to work, but that was important to both of them and my dad worked hard so she could do so. And when I look at my mother, I see the epitome of success. No, she doesn't have accolades, awards, or a successful career, but she has four wonderful children, she is looked at as an example by other women, and she is extremely well-educated, among many other talents and abilities she has.

However, I get the feeling, especially here at BYU (where you would think that one would be comfortable saying they want to stay at home), that being a stay-at-home mother isn't good enough. I am often asked what I would like to do for a career after I finish school, and I say that if the opportunity is given to me I would like to stay at home with my children, and if that doesn't happen I want to be a book editor. I often receive the comment back, "You want to be just a mom?" And to be honest, that hurts. A lot. I have never looked at my mother and said, "she is JUST a mom." My mother is BYU educated, is continually involved in the community working with charities and schools, and she was there for us all day, every day, and yet she is "just" a mom? I disagree completely with that. And my mother isn't the only mother like that. I know there are plenty of talented women who stay at home to be with their children.

Anyway, that is just my opinion. I have friends who want to have careers, and that's completely fine! If you want to have a career and have the brains and opportunity to do it, by all means, do. I am all for having some good women in the workforce! All that I'm saying is, please, don't belittle those women here at BYU who would like to stay home with their kids if they are able to. To me, there is nothing unsuccessful about being "just" a mother.

21 21 21 21!

Yesterday was my birthday, and it was wonderful. Thank you, dear friends, for the wishes, parties, balloons, and flowers! It was a great day. Do I look 21? No. Do I feel 21? Maybe someday I will. But until then I created a list of goals I would like to complete this next year. I figured that maybe, if I write them here, and someone sees me slacking off on them, they can lecture me.

1. My first goal is to read my scriptures every day for the whole year, not missing a single one.
2. Run a 10K.
3. Learn some sort of new useful skill (budgeting, sewing, etc.)
4. Exercise! I've been slacking on that this semester.
5. Look for an act of service that I can do daily, even if it's a small one.
6. Be a better example to others.
7. Listen to/read a General Conference talk each day. (See story here)
8. Start a charity, or help support one.
9. No gossiping or judging! (see above story link)
10. Be the very best person I can be this year.

I made a list yesterday of 21 goals, but I can't remember all of them, so these are just a few.

Inspiration and Influence

This past week has been fantastic for me. And I blame it on one difference. Last week, Sheri Dew, a former counselor in the General Relief Society Presidency, came to speak to my little sister's stake Relief Society, and she invited me to go with her. My sister couldn't find any of her friends on her floor to go with her, which I thought was such a tragedy! Sheri Dew has always been an extremely inspirational person to me. She is such a go-getter, and is so blunt and honest. You can thank her for Deseret Book being what it is today, because she is the president and CEO. I had the chance to meet her on my 12th birthday, and she is just a great person. I've heard her speak before at BYU Women's Conference with my mom as well as in devotionals, so I jumped at the chance to go!

Her talk was amazing. Like absolutely fantastic. I wish I had a copy of it to share. Her topic was about how we influence others, and how we let others influence us. She was extremely blunt about girls and women gossiping about each other, and she even said, "How dare you belittle someone by gossiping to make yourself look better. All you are doing is bringing yourself lower than you think that person is." It made me ask myself, "Does the way I act inspire others? Do I speak in such a way that others can feel my testimony of the gospel?" Sister Dew recommended some ways in which we can strengthen our testimonies to allow others to be inspired by our influence. She recommended listening to or reading a General Conference address each day. She said that surrounding our lives with the voices of prophets and apostles can only help us in our trials, and even in our good times. So, because I'm a goal-oriented person (whether I reach those goals is another topic entirely), I decided to take her challenge.

Normally, when I receive the Conference issues of the Ensign, I try to read one talk a day until I finish. But that usually ends after two months or so, so I'm stuck without anything to read until the next Conference. So I decided to hop onto LDS.org and pick a talk each day to listen to just while I am getting dressed in the morning or getting ready to go bed at night. Sometimes I pick by the title, other times I pick by who I want to listen to. And in the past week and a half, it has made the biggest difference in my life! I've been so much happier, and little things don't bother me as much. It just brings so much light to my day. So if you have 5 or 10 minutes each day to listen or read, it's a great thing to do. Thank you, Sheri Dew!

Here's a link to the website:
General Conference Talks

Nerdy

Have you ever had to create something, and you put so much time into it, but then you came up with this brand new idea that was even better than what you had just created and you tore your old project apart? Do you remember the emotions involved in that? Maybe that doesn't make sense, but I'll explain.

For my Victorian Lit class we're writing research essays about Victorian short stories. My essay is about a children's story from 1874 that I read called "The Shoe-Black." I was writing my essay, and while I liked it, I didn't LOVE it. It's hard for me to turn something in when I don't absolutely love it. But I thought that with some editing I could make it into something good. Well yesterday I had this stroke of genius to change my entire thesis around, which I did. It ended up causing me to change the whole idea of my paper, but I liked this better. However, it required me to kill my original essay. 6 pages of sources, citations, and ideas...all gone. And I felt so bad! This essay was like my child! I had spent a week making this as great as I could. Is that weird that I felt so guilty, even though I think my new paper is better?

Anyway, I stayed up late last night continuing to work on my own version of perfection. Maybe my professor will hate it -- maybe it won't make sense to her. I have a habit of writing like that. But right now on my little white MacBook sits six pages of what I deem to be literary perfection. Well, at least as perfect as my writing is going to get this semester.

Am I a nerd?

"Women of God can never be like women of the world. The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity."

--Margaret D. Nadauld, "The Joy of Womanhood," Ensign, November 2000

Sherlock Holmes

I know I talk about my English 375 class a lot, but I LOVE it. It really is becoming one of my favorite classes here at BYU. This week we read a short story by Arthur Conan Doyle called "Scandal in Bohemia," and it's a Sherlock Homes story. I love Sherlock. I hadn't read a Doyle novel until I went to London, where we were assigned to read "A Study in Scarlet," the first Holmes story. I fell in love. Yes, there is some weird Mormon-bashing in the book, but when you get over that it's fantastic. My friends and I all became obsessed with him after. We even went to 221B Baker Street, which really exists, and it is a gift shop dedicated to all things Holmesian.

There's something about his personality that I love. I always laugh when he comes up with a conclusion and Watson says, "How did you do that?" and Holmes nonchalantly gives a reply similar to, "What, you didn't?" I love it. I also love Irene Adler. Talk about a brilliant woman. She's the only one Holmes can't figure out.

Anyway, if you haven't read a Holmes story, you should! And if you haven't seen the new movie with Robert Downey, Jr., you should! The fact that Jude Law is Mr. Watson is reason enough to see it. And if you haven't been to the gift shop at 221B Baker Street, you should do that, too. :)

With the infamous Holmes figure on Baker Street!

221B Baker Street!

Mr. Watson. Yes, this is really Jude. Not wax. He is so multi-talented that he can be Hamlet as well!

Shameless Plug

I really like my hair. I always have, and it has always been my favorite feature. I've had it long, short, straight, curled, braided, pretty much everything except drastic colors. I'm not that brave yet. My ideal hair is this:
Or this:Last week I was in desperate need of a good haircut. I'm not the kind to shell out $50 (I love my hair, but not that much), so I normally go to one of the local hair schools. Well, to my surprise, an Aveda Institute just opened up here. Hooray! I grew up knowing Aveda very well because my mom uses their products. So I decided to give it a shot. I found out it was $9 for a wash, cut, and style (not bad!), so I made an appointment. On Saturday my sister and I went, and I sat down in the chair, ready to tell my stylist what I wanted. Wait. Before I could tell her, she made me smell a few essential oils and pick the one I liked. The energizing one smelled good, so I went with that one, curious as to why she asked. She then proceeded to use it to massage my scalp, neck, shoulders, and hands, for about 10 minutes. Oh my goodness. I was in heaven. When it was over, the haircut started. And I love it. Not quite what the pictures above feature (I need it to be just a bit longer), but it looks great and the experience was awesome. 9 bucks? So worth it.

Look at Your Man

I am obsessed with this commercial!

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"Kindness is the essence of greatness and the fundamental characteristic of the noblest men and women I have known. Kindness is a passport that opens doors and fashions friends. It softens hearts and molds relationships that can last lifetimes...Kindness is the essence of a celestial life. Kindness is how a Christlike person treats others. Kindness should permeate all of our words and actions at work, at school, at church, and especially in our homes." --Joseph B. Wirthlin,, "The Virtue of Kindness", Ensign, May 2005, 26

Just some words of inspiration today. :)