Gimp.

Two weeks ago, I went and got myself injured. And how did I do it? Tripping and falling while running around outside. Guys, it's not even a good story! And because I'm really bad at taking care of myself (I'd like to think it's because I'm busy taking care of other people), I waited a whole week to see a doctor. Walking on it was a pain, but I convinced myself that it wasn't that bad, and that seeing a doctor would be a waste of time and money. Wrong. After looking like an idiot walking around campus with a severe limp, and after much convincing from my mama, I got my first ever X-ray. And here is what we found:

First off, no, this is not my foot. I googled "fractured third metatarsal bone" and I found this picture. But it's identical. Can you believe doctors are apparently too high tech now to send you home with an image of your X-ray? Now they just look at them on their computers. I was so excited to hang mine on my fridge with a big gold star stuck to it. But nope. I have to search for pictures that look like what's going on inside my foot.

So I got one of these beauties:

This, ladies and gents, is called a Cam walker. It's a sexy little boot that goes with everything. And lucky me, I get to accessorize everything I wear with it for at least 3 WEEKS, maybe longer. Let's not mention that, every time I tear the velcro straps off to remove the thing, I can hear dogs howl because it's so loud.

I also got a nice pair of crutches, courtesy of the BYU Health Center. Raise your hand if you've ever had to use crutches. Raise your hand if you've ever had to use them on campus. Raise your hand if you experienced intense sweat sessions hobbling from class to class, as well as weird bruising and soreness under your armpits and on the palms of your hands. Also, raise your hand if people have shushed you while you walked through the library because your crutches were loud. Raise your hand if you used your crutch as a weapon against the shusher because they obviously deserved a whack in the leg for not being considerate to a gimp. Crutches may be convenient (especially as a weapon), but it took me about 5 minutes of using them to learn that they are of the devil. I kind of want one of these cool contraptions:

I always see students zipping around on campus with these! Or maybe I'll get a Jazzy. Or a Razor scooter.

I know I'm complaining. But I promise that there are benefits to being injured, like this:

No, I will not cheat and use it until it expires. The minute I'm healed it's going away. But until I'm no longer a gimp, this is the greatest thing ever! Take me with you and I can even bring it in your car. Maybe I'm just asking myself to be used...Also, guys on campus are oh so great when it comes to opening doors for me. Thanks boys! And yes, my injury is a great conversation-starter. Props to those who have taken advantage of that.

Also, did you know that BYU has this elite crutch/gimp club? I didn't until now. You know how motorcyclists all have that side wave they do when passing another motorcycle? (I know this after years of riding with my dad) Well, there's something similar on campus. You see someone else with crutches and you do the head nod (obviously the wave wouldn't work as our hands are too busy having uncomfortable pressure put on them as we attempt to walk). The nod says it all: "Yes, you look miserable. Yes, I know I do, too. We get what each other is going through." It's taken me four and a half years at BYU, but now I feel like I've arrived with this exclusive little club.

Anyway, that's the end of it. I have been called a gimp a total of 57 times in the last two weeks, and I'm starting to forget my real name. Someone please remind me once I'm healed, mmkay?